• ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    I’ll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

  • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago
    • Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

    • Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

    • The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

    • Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

  • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    There’s a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don’t care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they’d want and to have fun with it.

    Now I can go in and say “Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out” and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that’s delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.

    I don’t do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.

    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Hell yeah! When I worked as a server, I would ask the cooks to make me a burger of the day for my lunch break. There was no “burger of the day” they just went wild and often times they required multiple “load bearing straws”.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        People who go into cooking generally enjoy getting to be creative. I love those insane creations that require load bearing anything (although I don’t think I’ve seen straws, usually it’s toothpicks, skewers, or pickle spears).

        My absolute favorite wasn’t the tastiest but it was definitely the coolest. The guy made a pretty standard bacon jalapeno burger, added some house made barbecue sauce, cut it into pieces, skewered it, and served it as the garnish for a pitcher of micheladas.

        Note: A michelada is kind of what you’d get if a bloody Mary went to Mexico on vacation and added beer and spices.

        • sulgoth@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Kinda sounds like what people do to Caesars around here. Buy a drink basically get a meal on a skewer sticking out of it.

          • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            It’s so strange, around here there’s no real difference between a bloody Mary and a bloody Caesar. I know what the difference really is but no one seems to give a shit at brunch.

            However, folks around here are super proud of their micheladas. Everyone does the clamato juice with vodka, beer, and Tajin. But they all try to outdo each other with the other spices and presentation.

            Other than my friend’s pitcher that I loved, the place that does the best micheladas in my opinion is Captain Tom’s. It’s the most mediocre seafood joint that is amazing when you’re getting over being fucked up. If I hadn’t been to Taqueria Ruby tonight to fix myself I’d definitely be there tomorrow morning trying to feel normal.

  • supertrucker@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade

  • SendMePhotos@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just “fries” but they weren’t bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.

    I’m guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.

    • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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      3 months ago

      It just the generic “burger place“ design. I haven’t seen a burger restaurant that doesn’t look like this.

      So it logically follows that all the bad ones will look like it

      • psmgx@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Yeah the good burger places look mostly like this too. Or they did, and everyone copied it.

        A lot of em make good burgers, too. Just not $35 with fries level good

        • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          I hate $20 prices for burgers as much as the next warm blooded American but they are usually great. It’s a burger after all. That said it’s all about that bun!

          I live in northern VA and all the burger and bbq joints look like this, mostly.

          • Carrolade@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            it’s all about that bun

            Who are you who are so wise in the ways of culinary science…?

            Everything else is just a really good sear and not overdoing the toppings too much. Don’t even need fancy beef, just 80/20 chuck can deliver top notch results.

        • Biezelbob@programming.dev
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          3 months ago

          Not in my opinion; for me its always the shabby looking shacks that have the best burgers. Mostly were the locals go

    • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Most of them are mediocre. Most burger places were mediocre, and then the American gastropub trend saw burgers being made nice as opposed to diner food or bar food. They could also charge more money because they were making nicer food.

      Eventually a bunch of the mediocre places shifted to try to also be nice, but mostly just increased prices, changed decor, and started using the word aioli more than mayo. Oh, and pretzel buns on burgers that got taller without being bigger and are cumbersome to eat.

      In the plus side, if you like a Swiss burger with a garlic aioli, a burger with a fried egg on it, or a burger with 2 pieces of bacon, a spicy BBQ sauce, and fried onion strings and you’re in the mood for some fries with bits of peel on them and a garlic Parmesan butter, then you know exactly what they’re going to put in from of you and exactly what it’ll taste like.

      Mediocre. Not bad, but definitely not the best you’ve ever had.

    • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Bison is worth the price tag for sure. These places only pretend to have that kind of power.

    • saigot@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      I lived near a bison farm for a while, bison meat is just amazing, much juicier than beef.

  • Wogi@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    So the city I live in has a few of these and they’re some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.

    There’s a fucking war on here for the best burger and I’m so happy for it. We don’t fuck around with burgers.

    They’re so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn’t change the food. Maybe the stools aren’t comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what’s the problem??

    Then I went to another city.

    My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don’t deserve this. Good burgers aren’t hard, they’re really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it’s just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won’t steer you wrong. I don’t know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.

    • psivchaz@reddthat.com
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      3 months ago

      My city has both, and they’re decorated the same. I just wonder whether a really good burger place did this first and then crappy ones showed up to copy the decor and forgot to make the food good.

    • psud@aussie.zone
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      3 months ago

      Australian and it’s accurate here. I suspect the trend is common wherever there’s a market for hipster burger places

      • Papamousse@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        Exactly the same in Canada, the black metal bar stool, light, fixture, black brick, wood, etc. It is a starter pack for burger restaurant.

    • Funkytom467@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Yeah I guess the trend as been imported to Europe in general, French here.

      Although in France some aren’t bad, just mid. The problem is they are ALL overpriced.

  • LordCrom@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I’m paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

  • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    And its name is always like some suburbanite place: The Yard, Patio Patties, Culdesac Restaurant & Bar

    • eezeebee@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Either that or it sounds like they chose 2 Monopoly pieces at random

      The Top Hat & Thimble

      The Boot & Iron

      The Wheelbarrow & Cannon

  • Dendr0@fedia.io
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    3 months ago

    Don’t forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It’s like bitch please, you’re demanding someone pay a day’s wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.

  • TheOubliette@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.

    There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a “draw”, too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.