They were found in gutters, on streets, in bushes. They were boarded on trains, deserted in hospitals, dumped at temples. They were sent away for being sick or outliving paychecks or simply growing too old.

By the time they reached this home for the aged and unwanted, many were too numb to speak. Some took months to mouth the truth of how they came to spend their final days in exile.

“They said, ‘Taking care of him is not our cup of tea,’” says Amirchand Sharma, 65, a retired policeman whose sons left him to die near the river after he was badly hurt in an accident. “They said, ‘Throw him away.’”

In its traditions, in its religious tenets and in its laws, India has long cemented the belief that it is a child’s duty to care for his aging parents. But in a land known for revering its elderly, a secret shame has emerged: A burgeoning population of older people abandoned by their own families.

This is a country where grandparents routinely share a roof with children and grandchildren, and where the expectation that the young care for the old is so ingrained in the national ethos that nursing homes are a relative rarity and hiring caregivers is often seen as taboo. But expanding lifespans have brought ballooning caregiving pressure, a wave of urbanization has driven many young far from their home villages and a creeping Western influence has begun eroding the tradition of multigenerational living.

Courtrooms swell with thousands of cases of parents seeking help from their children. Footpaths and alleys are crowded with older people who now call them home. And a cottage industry of nonprofits for the abandoned has sprouted, operating a constantly growing number of shelters that continually fill.

  • Beacon@fedia.io
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    3 months ago

    Yeah the things that the elders say sound like typical narcissist parent quotes. "[My kids abandoned me because] they said ‘Taking care of him is not our cup of tea.” That’s sounds extremely unlikely. I would guess you didn’t want to hear the very justified exact reasons why they didn’t want you in their life anymore.

    • cynthorpe@discuss.online
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      3 months ago

      If my mother wasn’t a terrible person, a liar, and a manipulator, I wouldn’t have abandoned her when she finally broke the camels back.

    • mommykink@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      "[My kids abandoned me because] they said ‘Taking care of him is not our cup of tea.” That’s sounds extremely unlikely

      My thoughts too. The person you’re quoting is apparently just 65, too, and a retired police officer. Obviously I’m just talking out of my ass here, but that sounds way too young to at the point of requiring full-time caregiving. I’m thinking there’s something more at play beyond what he’s letting on, but I could obviously be wrong