• Snailpope@lemmy.world
    100·
    4 个月前

    My foreman would always say “Love my job” in a happy tone after anything bad happened on a job site. The happier the tone, the worse it was

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    442·
    4 个月前

    Fun fact: in America asking “how’s it going?” is just a greeting, nobody really cares

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
      15·
      4 个月前

      Brits ofen say “You alright?” As a substitute for “Hi.”

      Pretty jarring when you’re not used to it. Id think “God, I must look like shit if they’re genuinely checking on my welfare!”

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        8·
        4 个月前

        Yeah Tom Scott did one of his linguistics videos about that, he had a word for it but some questions aren’t really questions they’re basically just rituals, though rephrased a different way makes them genuine questions, and when you have major dialects of the “same” language like British and American English, we use different ones. “Are you alright?” is basically a noise of greeting in Britain and an expression of genuine concern in America, while “How are you?” is the reverse.

        • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world
          6·
          4 个月前

          Chinese version 你吃了吗 or variations on that, although it’s not used so much anymore. Literally means “have you eaten”, except it doesn’t really require an answer. I imagine it came up in that video, but it’s a good one.

          • batmaniam@lemmy.world
            5·
            4 个月前

            Literally means “have you eaten”, except it doesn’t really require an answer.

            Grandmothers in every culture

      • Aceticon@lemmy.world
        2·
        4 个月前

        When I moved to London, I remember the old lady at the laundromat addressing me as “love”

        I was like: “Damn, over here my charm even works with old ladies”

        As it turns out, calling somebody “love” it’s just a way of addressing people in some English regions.

    • Thteven@lemmy.world
      9·
      4 个月前

      Won’t stop us from having a conversation or even just bitching about something that is randomly bothering us.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      6·
      4 个月前

      I always respond thoughtfully to people I don’t like. Then I ask how they are and watch them squirm.

        • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
          4·
          4 个月前

          It me!

          Which is also probably why I give this answer. Because it irks me to some degree that we just throwaway important questions like another human’s well-being.
          If someone responds without being tripped up, I sorta know they’re my kind of person.

          • shneancy@lemmy.world
            2·
            4 个月前

            oh same haha, if someone asks me a question they’re getting the answer, i don’t care that they expected a “i’m fine”

            • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
              2·
              4 个月前

              I just realized that I contradicted myself. I said that I use this with folks I don’t like, and then that when I use it, if someone responds well, that I know they’re my kinda people.

              I don’t exclusively use it with folks I don’t like! I also throw it out playfully. It’s validating when folks respond in-kind.

    • Aceticon@lemmy.world
      1·
      4 个月前

      It’s really like that everywhere, in my experience.

      It’s at most small talk, not a license to dive into one’s life story.

    • Neato@ttrpg.networkEnglish
      23·
      4 个月前

      My coworker once when I asked him a hard question: “Don’t make me lie to you.”

      I still think of that a lot and try to work it in when someone asks me an impossible question.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        4·
        4 个月前

        when someone asks me an impossible question.

        I think that response actually works for the loaded question:

        “Have you stopped beating your wife?“

        • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
          1·
          1 个月前

          Easy answer: No

          Though someone can assume another answer it should be followed up by another question, such as: why not? Then you can explain: “Never started” for instance

          Though the answer of “don’t make me lie to you” is still a good one and prevents further questions

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
    39·
    4 个月前

    “I’m doin.” -I am not doing well and I don’t want to talk about it. But I’m also too exhausted and shattered to keep lying about my mental state for the sake of social niceties, so I’m hoping my vague, neutral statement will either convey what I’m feeling, or you’ll fill in the blank with whatever you want to hear. Just as long as you stop asking how I’m doing.

  • WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world
    32·
    4 个月前

    “Too blessed to be depressed” - they’re a Christian fundamentalist who is depressed but trying to convince themselves otherwise. You should run.

    • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
      11·
      4 个月前

      This isnt small talk, this is a survival mechanism to figure if the person will enact violence on you or not. Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        6·
        4 个月前

        Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.

        US/DE/both, did you mean?

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
          3·
          4 个月前

          I was referring to US culture. The most exposure to Deutsche culture is through part of my family culture and that ancestor left back when the HRE was still in living memory and not even old living memory.

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      10·
      4 个月前

      A friend of mine, married to a European, said that I should have been born in Europe, not the US, due to my hatred of small talk.

      • Aceticon@lemmy.world
        3·
        4 个月前

        It really depends on the country and people’s personality.

        In my experience in Southern Europe people tend to love share stuff about themselves (and will easilly go into their life story) whilst in Northern Europe getting anything about them without having a long acquaintance with them is very hard if not impossible.

        Apparently the Finnish are very averse to small talk (pretty much the opposite of Southern Europe).

        Then there are also other variances - in Britain they’ll tend to portray themselves as better than they really are feeling, in Portugal they’ll tend to complain about life and things and in The Netherlands, if you do get them to open up, they’ll be very matter of fact.

        After language, it’s maybe the hardest kind of thing to get used to when going to live in another country.

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      28·
      4 个月前

      Our national holiday consists of drinking and playing with explosives at nighttime. You do the math.

      It’s generally a very cheerful level of suicidality though! Would be awful to bring the mood down by making a suicide all somber or some shit.

      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        4 个月前

        Also one of our best known sub-cultures is one in which the concept of health and safety are slurs when used outside of work. I should know I am a relatively cautious Redneck, that just means I actually keep the medkit nearby for if shit goes worng.

    • fossphi@lemm.eeEnglish
      2·
      4 个月前

      Wouldn’t jump into a running vehicle. But wouldn’t try to try to climb up a cliff

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      27·
      4 个月前

      “Good enough” is “My head is barely above water and I’m wondering if it’s worth the effort”

    • ghen@sh.itjust.works
      11·
      4 个月前

      Good enough= My day is shit, My week is shit, My life has been shit, but it’s not as shit as other people so I don’t have the right.

      • loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        4 个月前

        It’s the suffix that hits hardest:

        … it’s not as shit as other people so I don’t have the right.

        ~at least that’s what my friend that I’m asking for definitely said~

  • Aceticon@lemmy.world
    11·
    4 个月前

    In the opposite direction, when I moved to England it took me a while to get used to compliment “inflation” over there.

    For example when somebody’s opinion on something is:

    • “interesting”, it means it’s shit
    • “ok”, means it’s bad or mediocre
    • “good” and “great”, means it’s average
    • “wonderful” and “amazing”, means it’s good

    I once asked one of the natives how did they transmit the message that they trully believes something was a 10/10 and was explained that’s done by going into details on how something is so great.

    • Zwiebel@feddit.orgEnglish
      2·
      4 个月前

      Meanwhile Germany:

      • “interesting” means it’s shit
      • “it goes” means it’s bad or mediocre
      • “ok” means it’s average
      • “can’t complain” means it’s fairly good
      • “very good” means it’s great
      • “really not bad” means surprisingly great
  • redprog@feddit.de
    11·
    4 个月前

    I’m German and for me, “can’t complain” means I have nothing to complain, I’m fine, nothing special

    • Classy@sh.itjust.works
      7·
      4 个月前

      I find Germans have an easier time replying to things very frankly and without garnishment or humor. I can ask a German, “How are you?”, and he may reply with “I’m fine” and it can be taken at face value.

      Americans tend to be more, I don’t know, conflict avoidant in their replies? There’s more expectation of subtext, of irony, and it’s not as typical to take “I’m fine” at face value.

      “Can’t complain” is another good one. It’s often heard as, “I can’t complain [because nobody would listen anyway]”. Tone is important, as is environmental context. Blue collar workers at the site say this, yeah their day is going to shit. Your buddy says it over drinks, maybe he’s having a neutral, normal time of life, or maybe his life is going to shit and he’s giving the ironic answer to avoid diving into his real issues, while still communicating that things are not perfect.

      Last week I was asked how my day was. It had been a perfectly normal, decent day, good time at work, beautiful weather, and my reply was “Life’s a peach”. I got back, “That bad, huh?” Yeah, the American habit of taking genuine expression and searching for a darkness under it can be tiring sometimes.