Even Biblical writers were not that dumb. They said Joseph was all, Bullshit, but I still have the feels." So he was going to quietly break their engagement.

Then an angel appeared in his dreams and said, “It’s true, bro, you can trust us.”

Not saying it’s a great story, but it’s slightly more believable.

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…with the rock.

You should totally ask a man about their salary. Loudly and in front of many people.

Did you mean to get the most unattractive to all parties view of it?

They do have a distinctive call.

About time.

I dunno, he cares a lot about what fruit we eat.

That’s not how a two party system works.

If it’s anything like my feline, it is not appreciative.

Remember to don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.

Happy cake day.

As a former McD’s employee, that would’ve been hard to clean.

Mental health for felines does not necessitate killing other animals. Mine gets sufficient stimulation by just observing and being played with.

Cats are apex predators even at an old age.

Bonus multi-coloured toe beans.

Another problem is there is nowhere to go. None of their neighbors want to take them in.

You know he’s not paying for it, either.

You can try to pet bears at least one time.

Groans in Zombie

What fear does Montana have of a terrorist attack?

What a ballsack.