even so, I would prefer my typo go to DuckDuckGo and then I choose among those options than be auto-corrected and directed to an irrelevant website Firefox chose (which is what happens to me). That said, I’m not usually going to a top 250 website, so - your use case might be different.
“Experimental archaeology” might be a good search term for finding resources on how to make and use an atlatl.
I think you just accidentally articulated the theory of virtue ethics. How do you know what you should do? Do what you think a good person would do. 😆
I use Firefox Focus as well, but I had to disable the “top 250 websites” recommendations when typing in the URL bar, it’s like adverts to my mind.
I usually felt this way about the Christian families with lots of children who would come into the restaurant after church and treat everyone rudely and make a huge mess. They did it every Sunday, and it never changed over a period of years. I know they were probably just exhausted and miserable themselves, but lots of exhausted and miserable people out there aren’t so entitled, inconsiderate, and rude to workers. Still, it didn’t make me feel like not working, I just didn’t want to serve those people.
Hey, I get this might be well intended but the context is a likely fictional greentext that whether by coincidence or design describes and captures a common trans experience. If that femboy was someone I was talking to or interacting with, of course I would respect his pronouns and so on, but it is important in lots of contexts to be able to read between the lines.
Taking a literal or dogmatic approach to the idea that people are only what they claim to be causes for example transmedicalists to argue that transmaxxers seeking HRT should be denied hormones - whereas I think it’s much easier to see that transmaxxers are more likely to be trans people having a hard time accepting they are trans, that is denial here is clearly more likely than fraudulence.
This is the same argument transmedicalists will make about femboys on HRT, and again I think we should read between the lines and reject the gatekeeping and moral panic about cis men stealing trans healthcare and recognize that if a self-identified “man” is on estrogen for their feminizing effects, they are probably a trans woman in denial and of course should be given access to hormones. Cis men tend to become depressed and anxious when on estrogen (see: David Reimer, Alan Turing, cis men who have used estrogen to treat prostate cancer, etc.)
(The same thing happens in the gay community around “men who have sex with men” refusing to acknowledge they are gay. I don’t have to disrespect those people by calling them gay to their face, but obviously we need to think of them as “gay” in some contexts.)
Of course reading between the lines shouldn’t result in being rude to someone by denying their prima facie identity to their face, but that’s not what I’m doing here by commenting on a greentext and pointing out the larger context for you.
Ah, I think they just don’t want people who are anti-trans posting here - I think allies are fine. If you do have questions about trans folks that you feel wouldn’t be welcome here, you’re always free to DM me and I can try to help answer them.
She’s obviously trans, a guy doesn’t enjoy taking estrogen.
a lot of trans folks live in extreme denial, it’s very hard to accept
Why do you try not to post here? (I just want you to feel welcome as an ally!)
My problem is with associating it with feminism, it’s offensive to me and factually inaccurate. TERF talking points are usually gender essentializing in a way that is contrary with radical feminist viewpoints, for example, and lots of TERFs now distance themselves from feminism intentionally as they coalition with the right-wing. “Gender critical feminism” is not feminism at all, and better characterized as fundamentally anti-trans rather than feminist.
Oh, sorry - it was hard for me to follow your comment as well, but here’s my understanding:
We read about OP sharing nudes with a friend.
TERF warns OP that they are sharing nudes not with a fellow woman, but with a man (TERF is assuming friend was a trans woman, assumes OP is a cis woman).
We expect OP to reveal they are actually a trans woman, but instead we learn OP and his friend are cis men.
Does this seem right?
Sorry, these moments make me feel like I must be autistic or something, lol
I’m not sure I understand what the transphobe is saying (I don’t want to call these people radical feminists, they’re not).
She sees an exchange where two people talk about exchanging nudes, and she assumes they were both trans women, so she thinks she’s exposing them as men because they aren’t acting like women (who would never share nude photos of themselves)?
It’s honestly confusing to me (lots of cis women share nude photos, though not usually to their friends AFAIK).
It sorta went the opposite for me, when I first started with a vegan diet I abstained from all substitutes and eventually I learned to use them to recreate foods I thought I wouldn’t be able to eat again.
Oh boy.
First of all, form good “sleep hygiene” habits, read: https://health.arizona.edu/sites/default/files/data/Sleep Hygiene.pdf
A lot of it is obvious, like go to bed at the same time every night (set a timer to get yourself reliable at first!), and wake up at the same time every morning. Give yourself more “sleep opportunity” than the hours you want to sleep so you actually get enough sleep (e.g. if you want to sleep 8 hours, maybe give yourself 10 hours in bed with the lights out).
Don’t use screens several hours before bed, don’t do anything but sleep in your bed, and wind-down before bed with something like reading a book (again, in a chair in another room, not in your bed).
Now for more advanced tips I’ve learned from dealing with insomnia:
A problem I have sometimes had is that tasks like meditation can actually cause me to become more alert, and it turns out meditation actually does cause insomnia.
When struggling with meditation related insomnia, I got lots of practice navigating falling asleep.
What I found most helpful was rather than focusing on an object in a meditation like way, to instead allow mind-wandering and rumination and to try to cultivate a lack of metacognitive awareness about that rumination. Basically, the opposite of meditation. Meditators will hopefully know what I mean by this - but basically, don’t pay too much attention to what you are thinking, just get absorbed into the mind-wandering.
Sometimes if the mind-wandering leads to thoughts or feelings that are “strong” or engaging enough it can prevent me from sleeping, like when I’m anxious or my mind is preparing or rehearsing for an important event or the next day. In that case, a little bit of meta-awareness can be helpful to alert you to the need to redirect your rumination to something actively boring or benign.
In the most extreme instances, I visualize myself working in a factory performing a repetitive motion like pulling a level to operate a press. I essentially constantly try to pay attention to that mundane task and ensure that it remains mundane / uninteresting - just keep pulling the lever and keep paying attention to that task. This is akin to the counting sheep method, but I always found counting sheep too interesting or engaging of a task.
After hours of boredom I usually lose consciousness.
Sometimes I threaten myself with getting out of bed, and often in response I feel a resistance and that makes me realize how tired I actually am, and I threaten myself with doing something boring like sitting in a chair and staring at a wall. Sometimes that is enough to kick me out of my energized thinking into a milder / more boring and repetitive mind-wandering that leads to dreams and unconsciousness.
Sometimes I actually do have to get out of bed and do something, often I will stretch and if I’m not feeling overwhelmed with sleep that way, I find it helpful to exhaust myself with forearm planks - just hold until you can’t anymore (you can also use a timer for 30 seconds or 60 seconds, whatever pushes you past comfort but all the way to failure), maybe try this a couple times. You will sweat and it’s miserable the whole time, and you will be tired and want to crawl back into bed. That has helped me fall asleep really well before, and sometimes I think it’s because the blood also gets into my muscles and somehow this helps me relax.
Anyway, hope this helps!
Have you considered that your anger can have consequences for people on the other side, and that this can even be harmful - and that if you feel disgusted or upset about something it doesn’t always give you the right to express that anger directly at someone?
I mean, I want to be sympathetic, I get how a corporate and sanitized internet can feel wrong and changes the kinds of community that are possible, e.g. young boys on Xbox live were known for saying vile things and riling one another up (as boys commonly do), but as someone who was also present in that culture at the time, not everyone felt at home or comfortable in that environment, and the bullying and culture often made me feel like I couldn’t enjoy those games.
Sometimes tolerance and civility is a small price to pay in exchange for making spaces accessible to other people. That said, I’m not sure every space needs to be like this - so again, I want to be sympathetic here.
ah yeah, good points - I’m just always wary of the way health fads misrepresent problems, e.g. organic foods being somehow a part of the solution for climate change, etc.
I guess in the worst case scenario you continue to try to build strong mutual aid networks and focus on the actual needs of yourself and your community, whether that is helping people move to safe states, get access to hormones, etc. Anti-trans legislation is putting trans lives at risk in red states whether Trump wins or not, so it’s good to focus on what is important and to work together.