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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • so I’m not interested in this conversation but I do need to acknowledge that you’re misusing the term “gaslighting”. it matters. disagreement, or sharing a perspective you don’t agree with, is not gaslighting.

    gaslighting refers to a specific form of domestic abuse by which the abuser attempts to control their victim by making them doubt their own faculties of perception, question their grasp reality, and ultimately become dependent on the abuser.

    in other words, if you say it was great weather yesterday and i say “what? were you in the park at noon? the weather was so hot!” that’s not gaslighting. that’s having a different experience. likewise if you ask if I went to the park and i say “No”, but i really did go, that’s not gaslighting. that’s called “lying”. lying is not, in itself, gaslighting.

    now if you say “but i saw you! you were carrying a green parasol!” and this were true but I went and threw out the green one and got a yellow one and replied “no you didnt, i dont even have a green one, this is my parasol it’s clearly yellow, are you sure you recognized me? maybe you are having some brain damage, let’s make an appointment and get you checked out” that’s getting closer to gaslighting. hey, that’s actually sort of similar to what you said to me, although I dont think you were gaslighting me, i think you were just being a self-righteous american jerk.

    I know this is irrelevant to what you were hemming and hawing about with that other commenter and you probably won’t care, but this matters way more to me. please don’t misuse words that we depend on for understanding IPV




  • TimewornTraveler@lemm.eetomemes@lemmy.worldSelective rage
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    5 days ago

    Valid point. Although I bet there would have been some outcry if they had cast anyone without red hair TBH. Some people are just obsessed with red hair.

    But there would definitely have been less outrage if they casted a blond white lady instead of a black lady. Still relevant point.




  • You’re making a ton of assumptions here. Go ahead and be angry. You’re so righteous, you can’t even see what an asshole you’re being to OP.

    Do you really think they spent two years confined to bed, stuck online, without learning about potential solutions to their struggle? They come here saying the internet is not a welcoming place, and you just reply with a canned “try this!” solution they probably heard of on month two. It’s your arrogance that you think you can just come in here and save someone. What did you expect? “Oh thank goodness you came along to recommend that, I wasn’t able to Google shit myself”? Notice how OP hasn’t even replied to you??

    And so ironic that in a thread where the whole point is loneliness from people being assholes online, you respond like such an asshole.

    Who’s the problem here, exactly?