I’m queer and basically a gender abolitionist so I am not disagreeing about the social nature of gender, but I think phrases like that are pretty reductive and depending on the context in which you hear it. You can think of just as many supporting examples as contradicting ones. Though, in my opinion we really don’t need to “show” that gender is a social construct, for many reasons, but mostly because so many people don’t care, and they think social constructs are good, actually.
I don’t believe I’ve ever spoken about this online before, but I was in a similar situation and was in solo therapy attempting to process the trauma and my therapist legitimately told me that the reason it’s still traumatic is because I was unwilling to forgive the perpetrators. I knew they were religious before this, but I thought it had never really affected the sessions, until I realized the sessions hadn’t been helpful because he viewed me as the issue. My unwillingness to forgive. I tried to get a better understanding of what that meant and it was just circular. I found a new therapist shortly thereafter, but the interaction really made clear how bad some therapists are. I had a string of not helpful therapists and I just kinda gave up, but I hope people know they don’t have to put up with that. There are better options.