This is just a shitter version of the joke featuring George Osborne.
Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky.
#fedi22
This is just a shitter version of the joke featuring George Osborne.
Tory councillors are revolting?
Got it!
Taking my son and his best friend to Legoland for his birthday. It’ll be a day of queuing, but I know they’ll have a great time.
Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of… rootle around in there.
Strike hard, strike first, show no mercy!
I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.
I do walk a bit funny though.
“Prawn toast, chicken fried rice, and some edible panties please!”
Lest we forget.
Although it’s not really possible to eat pizza without rawdoggin it.
Unless you use a fork and knife like a heathen
I have my butler cut up my pizza for me with a pizza knife and a pizza fork. And then I have my nanny feed it to me. “Here comes the train to the tunnel, choo-choo!”
Comin’ over ‘ere, takin’ our sausages! Give 'em back! Return our sausages!
I got a fish supper from the chippy - and punched it repeatedly - it has not yet gone hunting for me. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. As is my fish supper.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Some of the blocks are made with ultraviolet material, which allow inspectors armed with black lights to search for glowing droppings.
We’ve all been there.
Actually, this has just reminded me of the white poos dogs used to do in the '70s. Which were 30 years ago in case you’re wondering. Get off my lawn, etc., etc.!
Superb!
If Angelina Jolie started messaging me, told me we could get together and then started asking for cash
Pfffft, fat chance of that happening. Angie and I have been messaging each other on MySpace since 2003 and she’s devoted to me. I love her quirky use of grammar and occasional hilarious spelling mistakes. One day we’ll meet when I’ve saved up enough to pay for her airfare over here (she can’t book tickets herself because fans would mob her), and then we can begin our life together properly.
Well that’s Berlin’s fault for chosing doughnuts so speedily. If they’d held out longer a Berliner could have been a delicious meat-based food item.
Go away, 'bating!
The wall of preference at my school was concrete rather than brick and the game was just to run at it as fast and fearlessly as possible.
“I want a big gun that fires lots of bullets very fast.”
“God bless you, son!”