• 2 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Honestly, as someone in a relationship with a person who I thought was solidly, stratospherically “out of my league” at first, I can tell you the concept of “leagues” is wildly inaccurate (even though a part of me is still convinced that she is way out of my league).

    Two things matter here:

    1. Your ability to be yourself (or an improved but still faithful version of yourself). Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t, that isn’t going to end well regardless of the possibility of a romantic relationship.
    2. Your ability to accept and get over rejection without affecting your current relationship. You have to be able to be confident enough that if you ask her out and she says no, you can say “hey, no worries, that’s cool” and mean it so she doesn’t have to worry about you being weird about it subsequently. You also have to be able to accept that if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, she might be slightly distant and less trusting of you for a little while subsequent to whenever you do ask her out. Do not overreact or overcompensate for this in any way whatsoever. Treat her exactly the way you have been all along, as friends. If you think you can’t, step away for however long it takes you to manage your feelings, and be kind the whole way through.

    Now that we’re clear on that, see how your time together next week goes. If she seems like she genuinely enjoys having you around, ask to hang out again in a more informal situation. Invite her out to something you think she might be interested in. See how that goes. If it consistently goes well a couple of times (for both of you), gently bring up how you feel and tell her you’d like to ask her out on an actual date, and be guided by her response. Judging by what you’ve told us up there, your chances are already looking pretty good, because she seems to enjoy your company a lot.

    Tl;dr – be yourself, be brave, and most of all, be (genuinely) kind. You’ll be all right one way or the other. Good luck!





  • I listen to music or podcasts while cycling to/from work everyday, but at low enough volumes that I can easily hear traffic around/behind me. I would not recommend it if you’ve just started cycling, but if you’re comfortable enough on a bike in city traffic it should be okay. Just make sure you’re always constantly aware of what’s happening around you.

    And wear a helmet, at the very least.