i’m so sorry you have felt this way before. it really feels like im going insane sometimes. this morning i took a 1 hour ride up to the mountains and just stared down a canyon cliff and pondering. i just feel so trapped.

holy shit… I do this too. for a while I fought it off, but I think that’s making it hit harder. I say this to myself at work a LOT and ive done it talking to friends and had to apologize. I’m super here for you if you need to say anything. sending internet hugz.

good luck to you!!!

;)

Sorry to hear. Best wishes, friend.

Thanks so much for recommending both books. I will be sure to give both a read soon.

Interesting point of view. Honestly I guess I am kinda broken in that regard, I miss the constant fixations a lot, I feel so bored and helpless when I have nothin’ to focus on. it does sound to me like your hope is ultimately to control that, in which case I wish you the absolute best.

Never actually thought of it that way. Sounds like you have some nice memories yourself :) thanks a bunch for the response.

This was so comforting to read. I will walk to the shop today and get some vitamins to start off with. It was also a very cute analogy with the inaccessible storage of the new good memories. I really loved reading this, it brightened my mood so much, thank you :))

Hi there, thanks so much for your response. Sorry to hear that you are facing similar feelings. I have insurance, and I think therapy is actually fully covered under my plan. I never really considered medical help, maybe due to fear of feeling normal, I guess when I feel like this its comparable to some sort of warm embracing hug which is how I know I’m at “baseline” emotions. You seem to have really been helped by this process, maybe it is time I take a look into it as well.Thanks again so, so much for sharing your perspective. I appreciate it so much!

The couple friends I have left actually are online now that you mention it, known em for about 7 years and don’t know what I would do without them. Also hello fellow night owl!

in regards to the future, I think you just cracked the case for me too. I don’t really have any hopes or goals for the future, just fear if anything (of aging nonetheless). This seems to line up with me just wanting to continue not giving AF while wishing I had a reason to, but the motivation is not there. I really appreciate this response, hoping the best for you over there. Its only 19:57 here but I’ll be thinking of you when the sun comes up at 5 :)

That fantasy world is so relatable it hurts. Except for the times when I go to bed, I always have my headphones in, using the music to imagine a different life for myself with the soundtracks. One time I even called out of work because I couldn’t find my earbuds and didn’t want to brace reality.

I wish the best for you both. Hope things start to look up.