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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AstroVienna on 2023-06-26 21:35:05+00:00.


I (17m) am the kid of divorced parents. I live with my mom, her husband Steve, and their daughter Molly (5). My dad lives halfway across the country, and is in no financial position to look after a kid which is why my mom has full custody. In spite of that, my dad and I are really close. We have daily video calls and send each other cards and presents on holidays and birthdays, and if it was feasible, I would totally rather live with him. That is all to say, I don’t need another “father figure” to take his place.

Anyway, the other day, Molly referred to Steve as “me and (my name)’s daddy” and I corrected her that he’s her daddy, not mine. Molly looked dismayed and asked me what I meant and said “does that mean you’re not my brother?!”. I explained to her that I have a different dad and that her dad is my mom’s husband, but that doesn’t mean he’s my dad. I reassured her that I’m still her brother and I love her and yadda yadda. Steve shot me a death glare and my mom just looked sad. Molly seemed to accept my answer and we carried on with what we were doing.

Later, my mom took me aside and told me she was sad that I hadn’t accepted Steve yet, and called me petty and cruel for “pushing your issues on a little kid”. She said that, like it or not, Steve is her husband so that makes him my “father figure” and that I “need to find room in your heart for both of your dads”. I told her that Steve is not, and never will be, my dad, and told her that “just because you hate my real dad doesn’t mean I have to throw him away like you did”. I was worried I would lose my temper even more than I already had, and left the situation to cool off.

In the time since, Molly has been asking me incessant questions about my dad and why my mom left him (she slept with her gym buddy but I’m not going to tell Molly that until she’s older, for now the story is that my mom just fell out of love with my dad). Steve has been avoiding me like the plague and being passive aggressive when we have to interact, and my mom has been been bugging me to apologize to him. She’s also been trying to find excuses for me to skip my video calls with my dad, but I’m not going to ever do that. Still, I’m worried I may have opened a can of worms I won’t be able to close. AITA?

  • Cruxifux@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You didn’t say anything mean about Steve right? You just told the truth?

    NTA. Sorry your moms like this.