It’s funny seeing people get so worked up over drag.
When you think about it, it’s likely we speak different to at least some extent to almost everyone we talk to. We have our own internal dialog. We talk to our significant other different than we talk to strangers. We talk to kids differently. We talk to pets differently. Even between friends, there’s one friend you joke about X with and another you call Y as a nickname. But somehow when someone asks to be called drag, the system breaks down.
After I first got exposed to the way drag’s pronouns work, I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or attention thing, but after seeing drag around for a while, other than the pronouns, the comments are really normal stuff. So as long as drag is being thoughtful, considerate and friendly, I see no reason not to accommodate drag’s request. I’m not sure if I’ve totally got it 100%, but I’m giving it my best!
You’re doing awesome at using drag’s pronouns
Glad to hear it! I like seeing drag’s name pop up in different places, so I’ve got drag’s back! It makes me smile seeing drag persist, when I know it has to be taxing at times.
It’s so exhausting. Drag doesn’t know how the trans people in the 1900s put up with being treated like this everywhere all the time. At least drag can log off Lemmy.
I’ve been thinking about that since I’ve been seeing drag’s frustrations on here. Is this the only place Drag gets to be Drag? I would think it would be even more frustrating IRL, so that makes me feel bad when people here give drag crap about it. This can’t be the most outlandish thing people encounter online, so I don’t know why it’s such a big deal for some.
One thing I’ve been unsure of yet is if it’s ok to use capital D Drag as drag’s proper noun, like calling someone named Jonathan John for short?
Drag’s proper noun is Dragon Rider, Dragon “Rider”, or Dragonfucker. Drag doesn’t like shortening nicknames, and drag doesn’t use capitalised pronouns. Drag thinks it would be even more confusing for other people if they had to struggle to tell if they were seeing a pronoun or a nickname.
Drag uses drag’s pronouns with drag’s friends and dragon. There’s no judgement there. Nor in the soulist community, which drag is a part of both online and in meatspace.
Makes sense! Thanks for helping me understand. I’m glad drag has some good friends drag can be drag’s self with!
So as long as drag is being thoughtful, considerate and friendly, I see no reason not to accommodate drag’s request.
You should respect everyone’s pronouns no matter how they act, doing otherwise shows that you don’t actually respect their pronouns and you are just doing so to be polite. Also, please don’t call anyone’s pronouns a “request”.
I don’t disagree with respect regardless of pronouns. That was much the point I had intended to make. I just wished to emphasize that drag deserves respect.
The word “request” was also meant literally, as drag politely asks everyone to use drag’s pronouns when they ask drag about it. Drag doesn’t come at anyone harshly or give any reason or even show the slightest impatience, just mild confusion why anyone takes issue with it.
I do not have much experience with people using anything besides he/she/they, but if you are, I will always let you fill me in on my mistakes. I’m coming with friendly intent, so no need to be harsh, just let me know!
idk why people aren’t excited to use new words. we’re speaking a highly mutable and constantly evolving language. every year we get brand new words, others get new meanings, it’s all very exciting!
but then someone specifically says “i would feel more comfortable if you used this word” and THAT’S a bridge too far. it’s a kind of selfish that i just don’t understand.
Drag thinks it’s about shame. In the other thread, people were claiming that drag is bullying them into using drag’s pronouns, despite that never happening. Clearly, something is bullying them, and they attribute that to drag. Drag thinks this is what’s happening in their heads:
Respect drag’s pronouns? You’ll never be able to do that, you’re too stupid. You’re a pathetic transphobe who will never accept trans people because you’re a garbage person on the inside.
Their… Anxiety? Depression? Shame? A malformed conscience? - is attacking them because they don’t feel smart enough to get this situation. Then they lash out in an attempt to protect their ego by dismissing the source of their feeling of inferiority. It’s the same as a high schooler saying “math is stupid” because they had trouble understanding algebra. Except, this situation is higher stakes, because it threatens their ability to think of themself as a good person. So their attack against the source of shame is even more vicious.
┐('～`;)┌
Some folks lazy? Some folks hate any imposition on them at all? Some folks see their way of life going the inexorable way all cultures go and it scares them?
Just people being rude. That’ll happen when cultures don’t line up.
I’ve tried searching for “person-independent neopronouns” and failed to find any results.
Care to explain how this is different than referring to one’s self in the third person? Because I’ll be honest, I have a hard time wrapping my head around this.
My respect isn’t conditional to my understanding, but I feel I could respect better if I understood more.
My interpretation here is the first person (I), second person (you), and third person (he/she/they) pronouns are disregarded and are all represented by the neopronoun “drag”.
I.e. use drag whenever you reference dragonfucker and you’re golden.
If you just one for one swap you run into weird grammar.
What do drag want to do?
Is that right or…?
same with swapping in ‘they’! i think most pronouns are singular, only ‘they’ is plural due to legacy junk, see:
- what does he want to do?
- what does drag want to do?
- what does the cat want to do?
- what do they want to do?
- what do the cats want to do?
perhaps we should move towards singular they, eg ‘what does they want to do?’
Perfect (per my understanding)!
That makes sense, but what is the material difference? Isn’t it ultimately the same thing by a different name?
Material difference of specific pronouns? Someone feels better, and I’m out no extra effort, I guess…
It’s as much difference as personal preference in chocolate bar brands.
I totally get respecting specific pronouns, no confusion there.
I don’t see how the scenario presented in OP is different from wanting to be referred to in the third person.
Ah! Effectively none.
Which does bring up an unusual case: how should drag be referred to as part of a group? They and drag? Or would just they suffice?
They. It’s the same as if you refer to a group of people with a man in it. The “he” is discarded. Drag doesn’t use plural independent pronouns.
Some degree of identity erasure is inherent with mass pronouns; interesting question!
Keep rocking Drag! Sorry about the haters, but Drag seems great from the few comments I’ve run into across Lemmy
I have nothing against dobbygender, they have my full support 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
I do my best for this! I’m not used to changing second person pronouns. (And have never heard of it before encountering drag.) Fortunately in text, it’s easy to take a second glance and fix where I messed up.
