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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Spinelli_The_Great on 2023-09-05 06:38:58.


My girlfriend and her sister live with me, and her sister has a two year old kid. Without getting into much I’ll just say this, I work 65 hours a week, come home to a trashed house and have just gotten over a ant problem due to her child eating on my couch, getting crumbs into it, and her mom not cleaning it up at all.

I’ve gone 9 months of letting it sly bc I know her life is hard being a single mom, but the other day I came home from work and she asked me to help clean bc she was having some friends over and I told her no. I told her that her child is not mine, and that it’s not my responsibility to come home and clean up after her kid and that it was hers. She told me that “it’s not fair” and that “her life is so hard and she can’t keep up with it all” and pretty much started crying.

I get life’s hard, but I pay all the bills here and tried explaining that to her as well, and that being said I don’t think it’s fair that I get to come home and clean up a mess that I never created from a child that I also, didn’t create.

What makes me feel like the asshole is the fact that while she was crying I told her that my point still stood and that if she couldn’t change her act she could find a new place to live within the next 4 months.

I just personally don’t see how her kids mess is my problem, nor my responsibility to handle especially since she doesn’t have to worry about a place to live, or even the food her or her kid eats. I even pay for her kids diapers bc fuck those are expensive and I’m the only one who can afford them. I do all these things and I’m still expected to do more? More that I didn’t ask for?

  • Dean in WI@midwest.social
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    10 months ago

    NTA - sounds like you might be taken advantage of, even if it is for a good cause since the kid is an innocent party in all this.

    Doesn’t excuse the mother’s behavior though. Remind her that you tackle a majority of the responsibilities, and she would have to clean the place no matter where she lived.

    If she believes the grass is greener on the other side, politely let her find out. Hindsight is almost always 20/20.