For me, it may be that the toilet paper roll needs to have the open end away from the wall. I don’t want to reach under the roll to take a piece! That’s ludicrous!
That or my recent addiction to correcting people when they use “less” when they should use “fewer”
I think using generative AI to create that background chatter would be a lot of fun.
Apart from that, stop being lazy and write you own
ifelseexpert system for the game.