The person I replied to was sounding like they were saying that the world allows traditionally hot people to get away with normally heinous stuff. It’s partly true because we absolutely, on instinct, will judge people on appearances(many have learned not to act on those feelings so quickly and that is a good thing).
I was trying to go against that by pointing out pretty much exactly what you said which is that there are many traditionally attractive people out there labelled sleezy or creepy or whatever else by their peers i.e. they aren’t getting away with it based on their looks. I’m not sure why agreeing statements are “polar opposite”.
My point about “ugly” people was to give my experience with people who claim that all people care about is looks are often pretty crappy people as well and to acknowledge the fact that no amount of being a good person will make up for a lack of hygiene and that is something that can be controlled quite easily(a semi-decent haircut, shaving if your beard sucks and keeping it neat if you have one, etc. are all easy and reasonable things to expect, for example).
Extra:
I personally find that being somewhat neat and deliberate isn’t even about whether or not I like the chosen style but instead about simply being turned off by people who look like they wouldn’t notice a crusty kitchen counter or nasty smell. It’s like a car. I would 100% rather drive or be a passenger in a tidy(doesn’t need to be spotless) Nissan Versa than go anywhere near a dirty BMW with crumbs everywhere and bits of garbage on the floor. I want to trust that the stain I see was cleaned as much as it could be and won’t transfer onto me.
I think we’re agreeing so I just want to clarify:
The person I replied to was sounding like they were saying that the world allows traditionally hot people to get away with normally heinous stuff. It’s partly true because we absolutely, on instinct, will judge people on appearances(many have learned not to act on those feelings so quickly and that is a good thing).
I was trying to go against that by pointing out pretty much exactly what you said which is that there are many traditionally attractive people out there labelled sleezy or creepy or whatever else by their peers i.e. they aren’t getting away with it based on their looks. I’m not sure why agreeing statements are “polar opposite”.
My point about “ugly” people was to give my experience with people who claim that all people care about is looks are often pretty crappy people as well and to acknowledge the fact that no amount of being a good person will make up for a lack of hygiene and that is something that can be controlled quite easily(a semi-decent haircut, shaving if your beard sucks and keeping it neat if you have one, etc. are all easy and reasonable things to expect, for example).
Extra:
I personally find that being somewhat neat and deliberate isn’t even about whether or not I like the chosen style but instead about simply being turned off by people who look like they wouldn’t notice a crusty kitchen counter or nasty smell. It’s like a car. I would 100% rather drive or be a passenger in a tidy(doesn’t need to be spotless) Nissan Versa than go anywhere near a dirty BMW with crumbs everywhere and bits of garbage on the floor. I want to trust that the stain I see was cleaned as much as it could be and won’t transfer onto me.