• Sketchpad01@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Honestly wish I could do that. I’ve gotten so used to masking my inability to do small talk that I basically just say yes to everything. It’s super annoying and something I want to work on, but I dont really know how.

    • Taleya@aussie.zone
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      1 year ago

      Its incorrect wording but i shorthanded it to ‘embrace the sociopathy’. Very nice little koan to drop on the programmed reaction i’ve had to natural ASD reactions

      ‘You can’t do that it’s sociopathic!’ No ma it’s ASD and i’m tired of pretending i’m not to save your face.

    • sleepy@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      I’m the opposite i can do small talk ( and even be charming while doing it) but, i just can’t STAND it and don’t know how to get out of it either so i’ve just taken to greyrocking whenever it comes up. For the record i don’t have asd ( some people said they had it in this section) just static encephalopathy ( brain damage) and am actually quite smart just I’ve got a lot special niche interests ( sci fi, fantasy and Gorillaz to name a few) and if i don’t know you ( aka you aren’t interested in these things and / or like small talk) then I don’t want to talk to you but, if you don’t do small talk and/ or are interested in something I’m interested in GREAT! IF YOU WANT TO TALK I’M DOWN FOR IT!

  • troutsushi@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    Seems Germany would be heaven to this userbase.

    Pose a question, expect a no-nonsense, factual answer. Don’t be offended but appreciate the candor and brevity. Get back to being productive so you can leave for a timely Feierabend like everyone else.

    • kraftpudding@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      To be fair, this would probably still be considered very unusual in Germany. You’re not obligated to do a while song and dance, but uf you do this I would assume it’s a very deadpan joke.

    • BOMBS@lemmy.worldOPM
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      1 year ago

      I was watching a YouTube video for Americans on what not to do when visiting Germany. I was thinking that I would love to live in Germany throughout the video for the reasons you stated.

    • archiotterpup@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I think it’s the Anglicism of manners. For some reason in English we demand one lie to protect everyone’s feelings.

        • Comment105@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          They have earned their reputation, good and bad.

          Exceptions show nuance, but they don’t undermine this reputation to the point of irrelevance.

            • Comment105@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              No, I stand by it.
              And if it’s reading comprehension you struggle with I’ll reword it for you:

              Germans have earned their reputation for being unusually robotic, cold, strict, pragmatic, etc.

              There are still a lot of Germans that aren’t like that, but these exceptions don’t rule out the stereotype completely.

              I’ll add that this reputation might be due to how the German social strata is ordered, what kind of person succeeds, rises to the top, and interacts with other people abroad. It’s not necessarily due to an overall difference in behavior broadly present in the total population.

              It’s like how Americans have a ridiculously low level off trust compared to other developed countries, and how Russian largely don’t give a shit about anything beyond their doorstep. (Тебе больше всех надо?) Sure, generalizations can be unfair and at risk of being completely wrong, but I don’t think this one is.

    • BOMBS@lemmy.worldOPM
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      1 year ago

      I cannot tolerate office culture. It’s so unbearably insincere and manipulative in my experience.

  • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    I find the trick is to spin what I want to say into somthing positive. I can’t lie but I can avoid the questions, or just be vague.

    In this situation. “Will you miss us?” (assuming I won’t)

    “Perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together in the future” (not implying I actually want to)

    “So long everyone!”(ignores the question, this may also end the conversation as youve given yourself an out)

    “I’m sure I’ll meet many new people at my next opportunity” (to them it may imply you where happy to meet them, even if you where not)

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      In this case, he was never going to see these people again, so no need to play the neurotypical game of lying to spare their feelings.

      • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Fair enough. You never know though. A place that fired me a years back in a city far from where I live now, is now my primary vendor. I need to work with them closely. So I am happy I didn’t burn too many bridges on the way out.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          1 year ago

          I love how you just COMPLETELY ignore the fact that the people have obviously not been enjoyable to be around for an extended amount of time

          Having to spend time around people you don’t enjoy? perfectly fine
          making those people a little sad once? how dare you

            • _cyb3rfunk_@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              That’s not what I said. I just said the cost was significant, because you said “at no cost”. I didn’t say I would never pay it.

              Also, twice now you’ve relied on wild hyperbolic statements to make your point. If I may offer some advice - I think avoiding those is better online, as they makes your comments seem like emotional knee-jerk, which undermines your credibility.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      “Perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together in the future.”

      I couldn’t help but read that in a generic Vulcan voice that was a mix of Spock and the “We ain’t found shit!” guy.

      • ThrowawayOnLemmy@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        The “we ain’t found shit” guy from Spaceballs was a Vulkan in Star Trek Voyager, Tim Russ played Tuvok. So really, you can read it in just Tuvok’s voice.

        • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I was joking that Tim Russ complains that is the role he is known for. I personally know him more as Tuvok, but that’s because my parents wouldn’t let me watch Spaceballs, so I saw Voyager first

          • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            all right lemmy, it’s time for a fight

            Tuvix didn’t deserve to die, and even without considering Tuvix Janeway is a war criminal

      • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Well it does say “infront if everyone”. I assumed that also includes coleuages. Co workers are not corporate overlords.

        I’m not saying it’s a good thing, it’s another dumb micro ceremony regardless. And if you in a position where you don’t have to play the stupid games then I envy you. But my advice my be of some use for those us poor bastards who need to play along.

    • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      This feels like the moment I realized that figuring out a way to say ‘thank you’ rather than ‘I’m sorry’ grants +1 CHA

  • Mostly_Frogs@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    One of my first mentors as a nurse was this old battle axe who had been around in the ER for decades. Tough as nails, hard as a rock. She was pushing morphine in some young girl’s IV. This girl was maybe 18 years old and having a good amount of pain, nothing crazy but needing medication. She was really anxious about it. She foolishly asked the question, “What’s the worst that could happen?” The nurse answered, “You could die.” No expression or sympathy or care. And she just kept on slowly pushing the morphine without another word as the patient visibly tried to suppress her terror.

  • Maho@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    That reminded me a bit of that time I was spending the summer at grandparent’s and went to the gas station to buy a few things I needed, and saw a magazine special dedicated to a tv show that was really popular with girls at that time, including a dvd and 3d anaglyph glasses. Picked it too.

    Cute early 20s girl in the counter: “ohhh, do you like this show?? :D” Me: “no, I’m just buying it for the 3D glasses for using them with Minecraft” girl: “oh okay :/”

    me, almost a week later, playing Minecraft at 3 or 4 AM: “wait, was that flirty?”

  • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    So many managers are convinced their employees need to feel more connected to the business, or miss the office and the team.

    It does feel like they want to make you feel at home at work. It’s disgusting.

    • Patches@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      If work feels like home. You had a fucked up childhood and I’m sorry you went through that.

      • cnut@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I mean. You feel bad for people just cuz they like their job?

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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          1 year ago

          No matter how good your job is, it will never compare to the innocent, carefreeness and happiness you felt when you were in your childhood. (If it was a good one)

          This isn’t an anti-work sentiment. I love my job.

          But it is like comparing having a great death to finding inner peace. Even the worst version of the one is still better than the best version of the other.

        • beneeney@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          It was the same on Reddit. Antiwork culture or something (I’m not in the loop), which is reasonable to an extent, but people still struggle to acknowledge that it is possible to have careers and jobs that are extremely fulfilling to them, even if it’s under a company. I work in healthcare IT and I enjoy it a lot. And I’ll even say I enjoy the corpo culture-improving events that IT management holds. I like the people around me. I’d rather work feel like home than feel like slaving away in an emerald mine 8 hours a day.

          Edit: I wanna say that at my last job, it was very much trying to get us to feel connected to the company and the profits. That really doesn’t get through to me, I couldn’t care less about the company lol. If anything at a job, I’ll be connected to coworkers and people around me that I spend 8 hours a day with. The best company culture imo isn’t to get the employees to simp over the company, but to make it enjoyable for employees to be around each other.

          • calypsopub@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Exactly this. I still have several close friends from my big corporate IT job even though I quit in 1992 to start my own business. We had a blast at work, which was the only thing that made the hours and stress bearable. Those people were my tribe. I couldn’t care less about the company other than to hope it does well for my pension’s sake.

  • Transcriptionist@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Image Transcription:

    X/Twitter post by user merlot mami @KendrasUsername reading: It’s our hilarious interns last day. He’s autistic and a super straight shooter. My VP asked him in front of everyone on his way out “you gonna miss this place & the people at all?” and he said “Um…no” and walked out.

    [I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

    • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Hehe, calling it “X/Twitter” now. Nice way to address the complaints while keeping reference to the new branding.

      I still prefer Twitter, but I can respect that.

      • calypsopub@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I was listening to NPR yesterday and the reporter kept referring to it as “X, now rebranded Twitter.” What else can you do? If you just say “X” nobody knows what the devil you’re talking about. It’s like “the artist formally known as Prince.” Forever awkward.

        • just_ducky_in_NH@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          The New York Times actually referred to it as “the service formerly known as Twitter”. I love it, we should all follow suit!

      • Transcriptionist@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’d rather call it something else (I’m enjoying Xitter, pronounced Shitter), but for the purpose of ease of use I transcribe it as X/Twitter so as to hopefully confuse people as little as possible.

  • OnoreDikeido@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Hah, I used to be like that in school, but that didn’t go well at all. After all those years of having to keep quiet I’ve kinda lost that ability to be so straightforward. I wish it was normal for people to say what they think even if it isn’t nice.

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This is often why autistic people don’t climb the ranks in technical organisations, even if we are much better at our jobs. Some places create technical specialist roles that are equivalent status but there is a premium on leadership qualities rather than technical excellence.

    The Egyptians built the pyramids by moving huge blocks of stone on skids. This was achieved by organising vast amounts of manpower. What they needed was some autistic people to point out that only a handful of people are required if you use some wheels.

          • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I don’t disagree. Management and leadership is indispensable for organisation of large groups of people who are attempting to achieve a singular objective. There are important distinctions between the different styles of thinking and operating. The ‘social animal’ is characterised by charisma and ability to persuade, the ‘creative’ is characterised by the ability to think logically and imagine. The reason everyone knows the name Jobs and doesn’t know Wozniak is because Jobs is the charismatic influencer and takes credit for the work of Wozniak. In the case of Apple, it seems they have managed the balance between the styles of thinking to their great advantage but that isn’t the case in most places. Political and business people still hold much more power due to their ability to persuade and deceive. This is changing due to the influence of technology, the bailiwick of the creative type. There ought to be balance in our decision making or we end up falling under the spell of some charismatic psychopath.