• mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I hope they have some kind of telemetry system.

    TOP 10 BY LENGTH

    TOP 10 BY GIRTH

    TOP 10 BY % of methane emitted

    TOP 10 BY DECIBEL

    interpretive grunting / prayer (In some regions known as seis de mayo) - I’m afraid this requires judges at the ready, so may not be practical.

    what other empirical measurements could offer meaningful opportunities for competition?

    We’re gonna make the shitlympics out of this

    • clutchtwopointzero@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Needs an achievement system

      PLUMBERS JACKPOT - you clogged the toilet more than 10 consecutive times

      FIBER AT HOME - no loose stools for a whole month

      LIKE CLOCKWORK - you are super regular for a whole month

      METEOR EXTINCTION - you had a poop that was more than 1% of your body weight