Bean used to live outdoors until my my sister’s friend found her under a deck. We took her in three years ago. She had seven kittens and we kept five. She is mean to her offspring but has been getting nicer to us slowly. When we walk the dog at night, she sometimes follows us around meowing at a distance; when she catches up and we go to pet her, she runs ahead, waits, and the cycle repeats. Why is she so concerned and not letting us touch her?

  • Apepi@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’ve got a cat (indoor only) who’s normally a lovely little guy who love pets and cuddles. The occasions he slips outside he becomes a rage monster and it often involves getting mauled to catch him and get him back inside.

    Being outside their normal space can make cats anxious, anxiety makes affection unwanted. She’s concerned her idiot humans will get hurt/lost and she’s being vigilant for threats.

  • SharkEatingBreakfast@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I see people commenting that “cats are assholes, that’s why she does this! LOL” which is absolutely sad to see. Lots of people are more understanding of dogs who may have past trauma, but think that cats are immune to that?

    I do not know the past history of this cat. You mentioned that they lived outside prior to you adopting them. Did they get pregnant when they were very young? Their “follow and yell”-technique may signify that they see you as A). a kitten straying too far from home or B). their parent/caretaker who they are scared of leaving. Possibly even both!

    In short, they are showing concern for you. This is not “asshole” behavior. If she was not affectionate with her kittens, she may see you the same way. Cats don’t need to be cuddly in order to show love. This cat seems to be showing love in the only way it may know how.

    Talk to the cat while you walk. Communicate back as it meows to you. She may just want reassurance that her one source of stability is not just going to disappear like lots of things in her scary life has.

    Thank you for trying to understand your cat.

  • ganksy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    She is probably leading you back home (out of danger). She will continue to melt over your years with her and it will be totally worth it as it unfolds.

  • HousePanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com
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    1 year ago

    Cats can be very much like human beings in the way they deal with trauma. Clearly your little girl has had a lot of trauma in her short life. The fact that she is following you and communicating with you are good signs. Just let the relationship grow on her terms. Also, remember humans and cats can be food motivated. 😸

    By giving her treats, she eventually sees you as beneficial to her survival. As her comfort with you grows, she will surprise you pleasantly. The key is patience, understanding, and time. Just like a traumatized human takes time to recover, so does a cat’s. She may jump into your lap when you least expect it and claim you as her own.

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    I had one that did that.

    Also a rescue. All affection had to be on her terms as she was a strong independent cat who needed no human. But if we wanted to feed her, and give her a comfortable place to sleep, that was acceptable I guess.

  • Laticauda@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If she feels anxious or on the alert while outside then petting could cause her to feel overstimulated. For cats just being around you is a way for them to show affection, so if she doesn’t like being overstimulated that may be why she’s avoiding physical affection. Try just letting her sniff your fingers and maybe rub herself against you, and if she let’s you, keep the petting to just her head if she’s alright with that much. Then let her leave if she wants to. If even that much is unwanted then that’s okay, just avoid petting her. Being near you seems to be enough for her. But it is definitely a sign that she cares about you, if she follows you the whole way.

  • snowyday@lemmy.worldB
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    1 year ago

    The cat has a range that she lives and hunts in. If you walk beyond that, she’s stressed. She wants to lead you back into the home area.

  • Granixo@feddit.cl
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    1 year ago

    Do you take the Egiptyian Goddess out for a walk everyonce in a while, hooman?

  • Hazdaz@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    She probably sees the dog as her pet and wants to make sure you are taking care of him.

    • aeternum@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      haha my cat will meow for AGES until i give her food, then she’ll sniff the food, and go lay down. ACAA (All Cats Are Arseholes)