• MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I tell this story all the time.

    I was hanging out with this dude that I did drugs with, and I told him about a chick I hooked up with the night before. I told him that she preferred butt stuff, and he told me that he would never do anal with a chick. I asked why, and he said “Having anal sex with a chick is exactly the same as having anal sex with a dude. Thus anal sex is always gay regardless of the partner makeup.” So, he said it a lot dumber than I typed it and with a southern accent. But, you get the idea.

    This is the same guy that said he’d never take ecstasy because “it makes you act gay”. That dude sure was worried about being gay. Hehehe

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s so sad. I love when mostly straight people feel comfortable enough in their sexuality to act, “gay.” Sometimes people do it wrong, flirting and then getting mad when queer people catch feelings, but it usually shows that the person is accepting and comfortable with who they are. If they discover that they actually aren’t straight, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that either.

  • Yote.zip@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    This is what they mean when they say it’s hard to be a straight white male. Who can keep track of all the tiny things that might cause you to turn gay?

    • AlataOrange@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Care about the environment? Gay!

      Want people other than yourself to be able to have prosperity? Gay!

      Act with empathy towards others? Gay!

      Want to suck off a Femboy? Gay!

      Truck too small? Gay!

      Truck too big? Gay or compensating!

      Where do we draw the line!!!

      • waigl@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Care about the environment? Gay!

        Want people other than yourself to be able to have prosperity? Gay!

        Act with empathy towards others? Gay!

        Want to suck off a Femboy? Gay!

        Truck too small? Gay!

        Truck too big? Gay or compensating!

        One of those is not like the others…

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Truck too big? Gay or compensating!

        I was with you until this part. The bigger the truck, the more heterosexual you are. Especially if the truck is super loud. Anything smaller than a Silverado and you’d probably consider having your ass penetrated.

  • lugal@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Easy solution: just say “no homo” all the time. “Do you need a bag?” – “No, I brought my own but no homo.” – “What ever.”

  • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Isn’t being that insecure stereotypically feminine behaviour - ya know… Kinda gay?

    If you want to be gay, be gay. If you want to be a bit gay, be a bit gay. if you don’t, that’s totally fine too - Just stop worrying about crossing some arbitrary line into… what?

    If cleaning up after yourself leads to you railing some dude, the cleaning up was never the problem, and maybe you just opened yourself up to something wonderful.

    • FishFace@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It sounds like you’re trying to apply reason to the perception of behaviour as masculine, feminine, straight or gay, and the perception of those categorisations as positive or negative.

      That is misguided :)

      • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m just applying the same type of nonsensical stereotypes this group will display to show that this is gay behaviour too, and the entire discussion is moronic. I say this as a cishet guy that went to a boys school and heard all this nonsense regularly.

        Just clean up your shit - if that somehow leads you to discover your love of men, roll with it… you were almost certainly always gay, and that’s something to embrace not fear.

        • FishFace@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, but “applying the same type of stereotypes” is an example of trying to reason about this kind of thinking which can’t be done. You see a parallel between worrying about something silly like how you’re perceived for being green, and other stereotypically feminine behaviours - but prejudiced people don’t see or don’t care about that parallel.

          • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Those prejudiced people aren’t likely to be browsing !/gay - my comments weren’t for their benefit.

            Do you think you’re having more success bringing prejudiced people around in here than I am, or do you think there might be reasons to post here that aren’t for the benefit of the prejudiced?

            • FishFace@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              do you think there might be reasons to post here that aren’t for the benefit of the prejudiced?

              Sure, but I don’t know what you’re getting at.

              • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                If we’re not posting for the benefit of the prejudiced, there’s no particular need to…

                reason about this kind of thinking which can’t be done.

                …or worry that

                prejudiced people don’t see or don’t care about that parallel.

                • FishFace@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  My understanding was exactly that you were reasoning about that kind of thinking - hence the start of that sentence, “It sounds like you’re trying to apply reason…” ;) If not I don’t understand your original comment!

      • Lord_ToRA@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Being so insecure about whether or not you’re perceived as feminine/gay is hella gay. As in, super closeted and desperately trying to deny the truth by any means kind of gay.

          • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Does insecurity so crippling it stops you from cleaning up after yourself when camping seem well aligned with the stereotypical ultra-masculine archetype to you?

            Of course it’s ultimately all nonsense and stereotypes - but that’s really the point - this arbitrary “that’s gay… and that’s a problem” nonsense just draws lines people fear to cross and limits their freedom for no benefit.

          • eronth@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Shhhh, we’re trying to convince these guys that it’s less gay to save the environment!

  • MTK@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I hate it when I pull out my reusable bag and suddenly get gangbanged by 20 gay guys.

    • SCB@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      As with 99% of idiotic things men do, this is because it has been ingrained in them that acting “feminine” (as they perceive it) will lower that sexual status with women. Sometimes this is accurate, and their belief is reinforced.

      The internalized pressures of putting on masks for society helps no one.

  • Xanthrax@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Some men don’t clean their ass because they don’t want to be perceived as gay.

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      “That’s why I don’t jerk off. Jerking off requires touching a man’s dick and touching dick is gay.” - these people probably.

      • electrogamerman@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        When I was younger (teenager to early 20s) I found vaginas icky. I couldn’t see them in porn or else it would literally make me look away.

        The other day I was watching like a comedy sketch with two straight men in the lockerroom. They are talking sports or whatever, then one of them drop his towel unveiling his genitalia and continue talking, and the other guy is all like trying to look away. Do straight man find penises the same way gay men find vaginas? I wonder how they find their own penis. Its really interesting to me.

        • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          They might view other people’s penises the same way you viewed vaginas, but not their own. I would guess that they find it like looking at another person’s tear ducts. Unappealing because it isn’t theirs, but not something they find that gross on themselves. It’s a mostly neutral part of themselves most of the time. They might take pride in it like gay men, but people generally aren’t as turned on by their own body even if they are attracted to other people with similar bodies. Regardless of if you’re proud of it, your own body just doesn’t hit the same as the bodies of others.

    • Sundray@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 year ago

      What if they touch their butthole? What if they like it?!

      I heard that’s what happened to Tab Hunter!

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yeah, I remember being worried I would be perceived as gay.

    I was 13 and it was the 7th grade.

    Ah, to be young again…

  • Bizarroland@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    The only thing gayer than having hot sex with other men is not doing the things you enjoy or making your own life more difficult to stop the gay goblin in your brain from calling you a gay.

  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It gets stupider.some men refuse to wash their hands after pissing. And they are the gender that do have to handle their genitals while doing so. Let that one sink in.

    • MycoBro@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Smoogs. $10 says at any given time, your hand are dirtier than my balls! (I’m a firm believer in hand washing, btw, But it’s the disgusting fucking environment, not my nut sack that is gross)

      • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        So you admit that you like the smell of a man’s ball sack on your hands?

        Also not true about the cleanliness part. Ecoli is in your piss. And many more pathogen show up on your underwear between bathroom breaks. So Unless you’re bathing your balls each time and changing your underwear each and every time you hang a piss your unwashed hands are far more dirtier than anyone else who learned how to wash their hands. Also a reason to wash regularly particularly if you’ve been in public areas where other people and other pathogens are left over on flushing knobs and sink knobs and bathroom door knobs of the many other men who left their ecoli all over them. (Ps: this is also how pinworms and conjunctivitis and herpes can get transferred)

        If your roommate ate some ass last night, so did you.

        wash your bathroom regularly. Toilet should be cleaned once a week. Like deeply cleaned. As well as your sink for these same reasons. And at the very least wash your hands each and every time.

  • Dizzy Devil Ducky@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    If I were rich, I’d definitely find a “study” that proves that single use plastic bags are now ultra gay just to make them switch. It’d probably either confuse them and cause them not to use bags at all or make them switch.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Tfw you spot a guy carrying 20 cans of ravioli, carefully balanced in his arms, and you have to wonder if he forgot his reusable bags today or if he is just ultra not-gay…